wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize