What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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