I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
