I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
