life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
