Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
