need another drink. this is the easiest way
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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