____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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