So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
