I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
