Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
