im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
