I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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