okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
