i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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