making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize