Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
