I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
