do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize