I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
