just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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