i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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