Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
