I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
