we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
