lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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