I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
