I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
