i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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