that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
