Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize