Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
