I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
