$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
