im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
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