You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
