i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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