If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I will pee on everything he values.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
