Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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