I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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