We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
