if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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