Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
