Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
