i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
