Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
