I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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