Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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