.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
