So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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