Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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