drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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