Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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