There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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