Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
