he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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