It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
