fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize