You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Randomize
