he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
