I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
