So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
