your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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