omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
