nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
