just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Randomize
