I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
