No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize