i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
